Babies Have Feelings Too
I don’t have many friends. I’m good friends with mommy and daddy. I have a relationship of sorts with our two cats. I like to think that you, my readers, are my friends. I have a long list of acquaintances that come to visit me from time to time. That’s pretty much everyone I know.
None of my friends and acquaintances are playmates of my own age. I want to have friends to play with and I am very friendly. I generally like to meet new people and I enjoy socializing. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by large, boisterous groups, but once I overcome my initial fears I’m a very social.
Mommy knows that I’m a social baby and that I often seek out the company of other babies. This is one of the reasons why we have been going to the part almost every day since the weather has improved. It’s a very busy place with a lot of activity and it is exactly the kind of thing that I find a bit intimidating. I enjoy going to the park and exploring, but I have been too shy to do much socializing.
The park is full of kids of various ages, although most are older than I am. They are fast and move around a lot which makes it impossible for me to get anyone’s attention. Occasionally I spot another baby but they seem just as bewildered and overwhelmed as I felt the first time I found myself in the midst of all that action. There hasn’t been any opportunity for me to introduce myself to any of the other babies.
Yesterday I was walking around the park looking for treasure as I often do, when I found myself next to a little girl who happened to be standing calmly next to her daddy. She was a bit older than me but she wasn’t running around with the other kids and she noticed that I was there. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and see if she would be my friend.
As she was already observing me, it wasn’t difficult to take the first step and make eye contact. Next I introduced myself and attempted to initiate a conversation. She didn’t seem to understand me but she did smile and speak to me with the kind of words that mommy and daddy use. I felt like it was going well and I was encouraged to continue.
I reached out my hand to the little girl and offered her the rock that I was holding. She did not react and I figured she didn’t see my gesture of friendship. I took a step towards her and held out my hand where it was clearly visible. She took a step back which I assumed meant that she didn’t understand. I would have to be more direct.
I took another step towards her and nudged her hand with the rock, indicating that she should take it. She let me deposit the rock into her palm and I beamed with pride. That’s when her daddy said something in a low tone. The little girl opened her hand, allowing my rock to fall discarded, landing on the ground with a small thud.
I was confused and dismayed. I looked at the rock laying on the ground and I wondered where I went wrong. I thought our interaction was going well. I had never been rejected this way before. I didn’t know what to do so I stood there staring at the rock that had been so carelessly thrown away.
Within moments mommy was leading me away from the little girl and her daddy. Mommy said that I was a very sweet peach and that I did nothing wrong. She told me that it wasn’t my fault and not to feel bad. Mommy claims that some people don’t appreciate rocks like we do and that some little girls are not allowed to touch them.
I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like a rock, but even if that’s the case surely there are more tactful ways to refuse a gift. I’m just learning how to make friends and trying to find my place in the playground. I fail to see why any daddy would encourage their daughter to hurt a younger girl’s feelings and shatter her confidence. It seems unnecessarily cruel.
I’m trying to not let the experience get me down but I would be lying if I said that I’ve managed to shake it off. Today at the park I didn’t have the confidence to approach anyone even though we spent more time there than ever before. I found a lot of treasure and I had a good time but I felt more comfortable avoiding the other kids.
Maybe I’ll feel better about it at the park tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll regain my self-esteem and make a friend. Or maybe I’m too little and just not ready for friends at the playground yet. I’m going to have to be patient and take this one day at a time.
Ah, that’s a shame. Hopefully the next person Peach tries to make friends with will be more receptive
I sure hope so. She was trying so hard. It broke my heart to see her be rejected like that. Thanks for visiting.
Awwwh. Poor thing… who doesn’t like rocks? Maybe some geology in the future? #kcacols
Maybe. Peachy does seem to love every rock she sees. Thanks for reading.
Ah poor little Peach making friends can be so tough. Don’t give up though – I am sure you will find someone out there who loves the same things as you do π #KCACOLS
Making friends is hard and so confusing. Social interactions often baffle me. I do hope I make a friend soon. Thanks for visiting.
Poor Peach. My Piglet would be your friend. He likes everyone, and offers up kisses freely. He would take the rock…… and likely pop it in his mouth #kcacols
The only reason Peachy hasn’t licked every rock at the playground is because I insist that she have her pacifier in her mouth whenever she goes treasure hunting. I’m sure our little ones would be great friends. Thanks for visiting.
Keep trying! One day it will work! This one was not the right one. Peach will find someone super good soon!!! #KCACOLS.
I do hope so. Peachy does seem to be getting her confidence back and she did approach a little boy the other day with the offer of a bottle cap. It was graciously accepted by the grandmother as the little boy seemed rather baffled by what to do. Thanks for reading.
Oh bless her! She is so sweet and deserve to have loads of friends. Who can resist such a beauty? #KCACOLS
That’s sweet of you to say. Thank you for the kind words and for visiting our blog.
This is the sweetest post! She can come to our playground anytime and I’m sure my son would take her rock π I hope she gets her confidence back soon. #KCACOLS
Nicole | The Professional Mom Project
Thanks. You’re very kind. I’m sure our little ones would be the best of friends. Thanks for visiting.
Ahhh its awful when other kids reject them like that, especially when the parents seem to encourage it. I shed a few years over it when my eldest was little, but hes 4 now and I;m sad to say that ive hardened to it…infact last week at the park he was smiling at another little boy and to my amazement the little boy AND his dad made a huge effort to play with him, it shocked me as I’d almost forgotten that some people can be nice and friendly these days! #KCACOLS
At first the little girl seemed very interested in Peachy. The rock seemed to make her uncomfortable. I am sure that it was the dad who told her to drop the rock. For me, that’s what makes it harder to accept. It’s easier to forgive a child. Thanks for reading.
Oh no! π
This made me so sad to read. Such good effort on her part – and then a such a “simple” thing for us adult to ruin. It’s very sad that some parents can’t understand the beauty of playing with soil getting all dirty, jumping in puddles (children do wash and dry well…), playing with rocks and making rock farms and so forth. π A little animal farm with beetles and grass, rocks and mud… the list goes on. π
Good on you for letting her. x
#KCACOLS
I agree with you. I think it’s a great learning experience for kids to get their hands on different types of things. I just stick a pacifier in Peachy’s mouth so that she doesn’t lick every rock and stick at the playground. She is only 16 months old and wants to taste everything. Thanks for reading.
Zach is finding that people don’t like his very wet kisses π socialness is hard work! #kcacols
It is hard work! Peachy doesn’t love kisses of any kind but she will always graciously accept them. I’ve been trying to teach her to give kisses back but she refuses. Thanks for visiting.
Aww peach! You poor little love. She obviously wasn’t special enough to be your friend. Only be friends with those that see you for the lovely Peach that you are. #KCACOLS
You’re so sweet. Thanks for the kinds words.
It’s great to learn about friendships and rejection from such a young age, not everyone wants to be friends but there will be many others that will π #kcacols
Did it have to happen the very first time Peachy reached out to someone at the playground? The thing that really gets to me is that the little girl seemed very interested in Peachy. It was the dad who told her to drop the rock. That rock was no more dirty than the swings and slides being touched by thousands of kids. It was completely unnecessary. Thanks for reading.
Aww, that’s awful. There are definitely better ways that daddy could have handled the situation, making friends can be hard. Hopefully things go better next time x
#KCACOLS
After giving it some more thought, I feel sad for that little girl. We observed her for a while during snack time and she played alone the entire time while her daddy followed her around. The other kids her age run and play together but she did not join in. I think she would like to have a friend too. Thanks for reading.
Awww Peach you will make friends, it might take a little time but you will get there! #KCACOLS
I do hope you’re right. I did approach a little boy the other day and had a much more successful interaction. I do hope we cross paths again. Thanks for reading.
Aw, hope she will keep trying to socialise and it’s won’t knock her confidence too much #KCACOLS
Peachy has finally worked up the courage to try again. I am proud to report that the other day she offered a bottle cap to a baby boy. He was wearing mittens and didn’t seem to know what to do but his grandmother accepted the bottle cap for him and made a big fuss of saying thank you. Peachy was very pleased with herself. There are nice people in the world. Thanks for reading.
Don’t give up, Little Peach! You’re bound to find another friend who loves rocks, too. #KCACOLS
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I’m still baffled by why anyone wouldn’t like a rock. Thanks for visiting.
It’s horrible seeing them hurt! I think they get over things pretty quickly though, it won’t scar! Mrs H xx #KCACOLS
I think you’re right in that they get over things pretty quick. I also think that in this case it was a setback because she’s just learning how to approach other kids. But she did offer a bottle cap to an 18 month old boy that we met the other day so I think she’s ready to give it another go. The little boy didn’t know what to do but his grandmother was vary gracious in accepting the bottle cap on his behalf. Thanks for reading.
Ohh this broke my heart a little too! I’ve had the same happen with my children, it’s always hard to see them suffer rejection. #kcacols
I know it’s the first of many heartaches but that doesn’t make it any less hard. I just wish her first attempt at reaching out to another child at the playground was a successful one. Thanks for reading.
Awwww may you make lots of friends and put this one bad experience behind you. #KCACOLS
Thank you π
Awww bless her! My kids love stones too, I don’t know why some people don’t see the joy of rocks lol #kcacols
Rocks are great. We’ve got quite the collection going. We used to bring Peachy’s treasures inside to show daddy when he comes home but we’ve had to start depositing them in the planter box outside the house instead. The collections was simply growing too rapidly. Thanks for visiting.
That was heartbreaking. But well done to Peachy for trying! I’m sure someone else will be more receptive. #KCACOLS
I hope so too. Socializing is hard! Thanks for reading.
aw bless. my son would totally be the kid to disregard the rock. he is overly cautious and likes to suss people out first! it’s difficult grasping the world around them! #KCACOLS
When it comes to adults Peachy likes to be the one to approach people instead of being approached. With kids she’s quite different. She is a little shy but very curious about them. She has always been that way. Even when she couldn’t walk and was confined to the stroller, whenever we went anywhere she would always try to get the attention of any baby that happened to be in another stroller.
Awww bless you little Peachy. It’s such a shame some mummies and daddies are a little bit crazy and don’t let their children do what comes naturally.
I always try to stand back and let my little George make his own friends in the world without too much interference.
Hopefully you find a likeminded friend soon, with a just as likeminded mummy for your mummy to chat with. π
#KCACOLS
That would be nice. It’s hard to find a likeminded mommy with a likeminded little one that’s of the right age. But we’ll keep on searching for that perfect pair. Thanks for visiting.
I’m sure she will have a lot of friends and that one rejection will not change it. She is a sweet little girl
#KCACOLS
Thanks. I hope you’re right.
Cygnet loves rocks. He would definitely take a rock from you. I can’t guarantee he’d give you a rock back in return though.
Pen x #KCACOLS
Peachy is a funny creature. She will snatch things out of other people’s hands only to give the item back to them. So I can imagine the interaction between our two little ones. Thanks for visiting.
I think making friends is one of the hardest skills to learn for little ones. I’m sure she’ll be running around with a group of besties before long! #KCACOLS
I think you’re right. Social skills are hard to master. I wish there were more babies her own age at the park so that she could interact with kids that are at her own level but we have only seen a few and Peachy only managed to approach one 18 month old little boy. All the other interactions she’s had have been with much older children. Thanks for reading.
Oh no, what a shame this has knocked Peachy’s confidence!
I always wonder if there are other reasons for things like this, and I can’t help seeing this from my “special needs” world and wondering if there could be something else to the girl and her Dad’s reactions. From what you say she seemed quite reserved, could she perhaps have had anxiety issues or autistic traits which would make her uncomfortable with the social exchange? Or sensory issues that touching the rock could trigger (my little one is a sensory seeker so she loves textures, but some kids are exactly the opposite!)? Or maybe the Dad had anxiety issues himself or struggles with the social side or the noise environment?
I hope it wasn’t that they were being rude to your lovely wee one on purpose π
#KCACOLS
I don’t think the little girl had any kind of issues. She was very interested in Peachy before Peachy even noticed her. I don’t think she dropped the rock of her own accord either. I am sure it was due to whatever her father said to her. If there was any issue, it was definitely with the dad. There didn’t appear to be anything unusual about him when we spoke but as I watched the interaction between him and his daughter I realized that he was very overbearing. The girl seemed reserved but I don’t think it was due to her own choice. Her father was actually encouraging her to play by herself instead of with the other kids and was constantly telling her what to do, where to go, and how to play. She had no freedom at all.
Oh, that’s a real shame for both the kids π
Awww bless. Well Peach, my little boy will be your friend, he looooves rocks βΊοΈ
#KCACOLS
Anyone who loves rocks is ok by me. I’m sure we would be the best of friends. Thanks for reading.
The baby is sooooo cuteeee…π€π€π€π€ππππ
Thanks.
dont let that dad’s attitude spoil your attempts at making friends. someone will appreciate your rock and that person will be the person you find to be your bestest friend ever! Dont give up trying! #KCACOLS
It was a setback but I think I’m ready to get back in the game. Thanks for reading.