That’s My Tree: A Hilarious Tale of Toddler Christmas Mischief

Mommy has been very busy baby-proofing the Christmas tree, even though Christmas is already over. She says it’s still important because this is the season of toddler Christmas mischief, whatever that means. All I know is that the living room looks a little different now, like it’s been rearranged for reasons I don’t quite understand yet.

Since about the middle of December, our living room has been adorned with a Christmas tree. It’s green and prickly and stands in the corner. The tree is decorated with lights, ribbon, and pretty things that twinkle and shine. It’s really quite beautiful.

The Christmas tree corner is right next to my play area. In fact, the only thing separating it from my space is a strategically placed foam yoga mat. It surrounds the tree and makes it impossible for me to reach the pretty objects on the other side.

Operation Toddler Christmas Mischief

There is a cord that runs underneath the yoga mat and continues on behind a cupboard. The cord has a large button on it. I realized weeks ago that pressing this button causes the lights on the tree to come on. Pressing that button has since been one of my favorite playtime activities.

A couple of days ago I overheard Mommy talking about the tree. From what I understood, she plans to leave the tree on the curb for someone to come and take it away. There is apparently a specific day when people go around claiming trees. Why would we give our tree away? We only have the one.

Hearing this conversation has placed a great deal of urgency on my attempts to touch the tree and all its dangly ornaments. There is still the business of that yoga mat. I have been using most of my playtime to figure out a way around this obstacle. There is no time to waste.

I am too short to get over that yoga mat, and there is no going around it, as it is wedged behind a speaker on one side and a lamp on the other. I am a resourceful little peach, and I discovered that if I hold on to the TV stand with one hand, I can use the other hand to lift the yoga mat out from behind the lamp. It is then possible to pull the mat until it falls forward, leaving the tree exposed.

Determined is My Middle Name, I Think

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to be inconspicuous about this procedure. Once the yoga mat is flat on the floor, I have to hurry to release the TV stand and get back to the ground. Then I crawl as fast as I can over the mat and straight at the tree. This is when I feel the inevitable set of hands under my arms as I am hoisted up and back to my play zone, from where I watch the yoga mat be put back in place.

I am determined and not inclined to give up easily. I shake off the feeling of defeat and start over from the beginning. All I need is a bit more stealth and speed. I am sure that I can master this maneuver with some practice. I just hope that I can manage it before time runs out.

Mommy may think she has done a very good job baby-proofing the Christmas tree, but she doesn’t know how motivated I am. Every attempt teaches me something new, and every rescue only makes me more determined. This might look like toddler Christmas mischief to her, but to me it feels like a very important mission. And if I can just get everything to line up perfectly—my timing, my crawling, my bravery—I know I’ll reach that beautiful tree before it disappears for good.